It's the night before the 15th anniversary and still I feel so raw and traumatized and heartbroken. Other sadnesses have passed or at least lightened over the years. 

This one...

This one is deep in my bones.

And so, on the night before the 15th anniversary, with my husband away on business, Liam on a sleepover, and Jack sound asleep (in our bed) I do the following:

  • Watch "When Harry Met Sally" for the first time in years because it's one of those movies that is also a love letter to New York
  • Edit photos from our camping trip

Because I don't have answers, but I know that for all the life lost that day, I am grateful for what I have that was taken from so many - my life. My husband. My two sons. Love. Joy. Beauty. Things I try never to take for granted or to forget that I have.

I get to live my life. And for those whose lives were taken, I am doing my best to make the most of it.

To those who lost people, that day or any day, I am sorry. I hope that you can find some peace and remember the love.